Blank Slate

My friend reminded me that in the high school quarter system that it is the fourth quarter, so that means that school is drawing to a close.  That means another year is over and another group of people are graduating from high school or college.  For me it means that my first year at UVA will be done.  I don’t really want to write a reflection post on my first year because that would be way too long, so I’ll just stick with one topic. 

Sometimes I feel I understand what I am doing and how I justify my actions based on the fact I have been with me for so long, but one thing about myself I still can’t come to grips with.  Whenever I go into a new environment, I forget my past and neglect it.  Confusing right?  Might as well explain it using college as an example. 

College for all should be somewhat a fresh start, new people, new environment, etc. For some reason, when I went to college, my life was “reset” so to speak.  It was like I started at age 0 and nothing from the past was relevant anymore.  It was almost like 18 years of my life vanished. 

It was only during fall break in the first semester did I realize I innately did this.  Coming home was weird and I felt I forgot it all.  It made me remember that the new friends I made in 2 months had 18 years of life before meeting me.  It shook me how easily I rejected my past. 

I don’t know if this is what people mean when they say they want a blank slate in college.  I think saying you want a blank slate means you want to try to start things over, but embedded in that wish means you have to reject some of your past.  It is impossible to start fully from year 0, and even though my mind got close, I realized it isn’t the right approach to life. 

So people who are transitioning to college, workforce, any higher education, etc., I say do not wish to have a blank slate.  The memories and experiences in your life are yours and will be a part of you forever.  To reject that is a fault in thinking.  It is probably a fault I committed accidentally, but that is no excuse for me.