Happy

I've never blogged while happy before, but I'm happy now so let's see what happens.  Sudden bouts of happiness are really weird.  Usually they are generated from music in my case.  I consider myself realistic, but sometimes people need those moments of happiness.  A period they feel like they are on top of the world and can do anything.  Have ambitious dreams that may never comes true.  Sometimes it isn't worth dwelling on the fact that those things are not possible.

But I think that is why I seek out people who are different than me.  None of my friends are like me, and I'm happy about that.  Don't know how they put up with me.  My friends are quirky, thinking in ways an analytically kid like me couldn't naturally manufacture.  Many of my friends have traits I want to adopt because I know my mentality is lacking.  There are more ways for me to change than what is learned in a classroom.  Yes I have regressed through this process a few times, but I have move forward as well.  I don't know it if it wrong that I introject the traits of others into myself, but I can say it is natural.  We learn and grow because of others.

People have said I sound confident in my ideals, which I guess is true.  It is the viewpoint I have established through the process seen above.  Still, I can see the flaws, because my minds don't coexist properly.  One mindset I cannot seem to find a way to get into myself is determination.  I'm so willing to give up; it is pathetic.  Things have fallen into place too much for me that I have never learned how to struggle.  This sort of works with my lack of passion.  With passion I would have the guts to fight against adversity.  Maybe in college I will be able to gain that as well.

Back to being happy.  Chatting with people now in a way that when I look back will sound insane.  To one girl who was one of the lower students in my English class I'm leaving my English legacy to her while another I'm explaining how, at her party, I will slap anybody who is too shy and will not devote themselves to the party.  This is the perfect mindset to give a speech or something, I'm just so pumped.  If one thinks realistically all the time, then there is no hope for true improvement.  It is making me happier that I can learn things while being happy.