Brain Dump

The air is stagnant, suffocating.  I unconsciously curled into a ball a few times.  I turned on the AC, but that made me curl up because it was too cold.  What a pain.

I guess I should say what I’ve been doing.  I finished reading and watching Kara no Kyoukai, finished reading Fate/Zero, finished reading City of Lost Souls, and finished watching season 1 of Nodame Cantabile.  What a productive two weeks.

I have my bible on my desk.  Both Fate/Zero and City of Lost Souls like to quote the bible.  I’ve actually read the Bible so I know biblical stories, but my understanding is literal.  I never was a Christian so I was never taught biblical interpretation; what I know is what is written in the book.  So I used my copy to look up the passages the books were referring to so I could see the context.  Sometimes they used the sentences literally, sometimes interpretively.  

Been playing guitar a lot.  I didn’t play guitar for almost 2 years, yet for some reason I’m doing it again.  Even with that hand problem hiccup, I’m still going.  I was playing every other day to give my hand a break, but now I’m playing every day.  My hands feel really, really tired; I should take a day break from it.  I only have a few guitar books, and I’ve been playing the same etudes over and over again, not even caring about technique.  I know my fingering is wrong, my tempo is wrong, my dynamics are wrong, my emphasis is wrong, my rhythm is wrong, my phrasing is wrong, but I don’t care.  I don’t even know why I’m still playing it.  

I learned one reason why my parents and I don’t see on the same terms.  Our sense of humor is different.  If I say something as a joke, they take it seriously.  If I say something serious, they take it as a joke.  I don’t know what I did to create this impression on them, but I don’t really have any plan on fixing it either.  

I got bored today, so I walked to the lake.  The lake at this time is really nice looking.  The sun setting gave the lake a cool shimmer.  I recalled a conversation I had with Surika yesterday.  Her Sweet 16^th party is in November, but I didn’t get an invite.  We have known each other since we were born, so it is assumed I am invited, but I wanted to tease her anyway.  So I brought it up and acted fake hurt that I didn’t get an amazing invite, but then she responded, “but you are going to be at college during that time.”  

That thought didn’t even occur to me.  I don’t really have any connection with Stephens City or Winchester, but it has been my home for most of my life, and some things such as this are just…assumed.  But no, I’m not going to be here during that time, the normal assumptions do not apply anymore.  So I stood there by the lake, a place I also cannot assume to be always in walking distance, thinking about things again.  Being alone is an interesting feeling.

Shiny

Boy Fisher

Adult Fisher

 My computer autoshut down because my battery ran out.  I thought I lost this blog post, but I know now that I wouldn't that sad if I lost it.  I would have just chalked it up to fate.  I guess fate wanted me to post this.  I don't even know what I'm saying anymore.

I just realized that I didn't really say who Surika is.  Anh told me once that I should explain who the people I mention in my post are.  I shall respond to that by tweaking the words of Anh's sole expectation of me.   Surika, and a few of my other friends, are people I expect to be my friends no matter what.  People come and go in our lives and I, more than anybody, am ok with that.  But some people, no matter how much we change, I expect will still recognize me and consider me a friend.


I've said more than I thought I would, but less than I would have wanted.  I'll just end this here.  Oh wait, because I made a promise... VICTORIA IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! (and best friends with Abhinav).