My friend Patrick and I got into a little debate today. He says that people without similar core
values cannot be true friends, while I said they could. It is a similar argument my parents
make. They tell me to marry somebody
with the same culture since that is the only way we would get along. My idealist mind cannot wrap my head around
this.
Patrick did make some good points. The people who I surround myself with are
people with some similar core values, as least in the aspect I talk to them
about, but I don’t see how having different views would prevent
friendship. He used religion as an example. He said that how could I ever be friends with
a person who thinks you will go to hell.
That makes sense, but that isn’t what they think about all the time. If they do, then I will probably be their
friend in another aspect of their life.
People are friends with each other for different
reasons. Though I agree with Patrick
that friends share core values in some sense, it is only in the aspects they
talk about. People have different facets
and it is improbable that one would meet a person that would fit perfectly with
everything. I have friends for each
aspect of my life and I usually converse with them about that. Maybe to Patrick that isn’t considered a true
friend.
This really forced me to think about who is my friend and
why. I can’t consider random people I
talk to friends. I guess when people’s
ideas resonate with me then friendship is easier. Still, the idealist in me can’t accept that
friendship cannot exist between opposite people. Yes it may not happen for me, but that is
just me. I would probably get annoyed if
someone had such a different mentality than mine that we couldn’t communicate
on a basic level. I may not be the best
candidate, but I’m sure somewhere it works out.
I’m a dreamer and I’m probably wrong, but I want to believe it
exists. I guess Patrick won the debate
this time.
Oh, the marriage ordeal. "You must marry 'blahblahblahblah' so you get along." I know of that very well, not personally though. Lots of Desi parents are like that and I'll never be able to understand why. It's just one of those things.
ReplyDeletePatrick is right in that friends share some core values. Isn't that a part of what leads people to becoming friends? It's hard to imagine a relationship, much less a meaningful friendship, between two opposite people, but it's got to exist somewhere out there. You wouldn't be an idealist or a dreamer if you didn't believe it.
I'm a random person you talk to. We're friends, right? Hahaha.