Lying Part II

Unlike my fellow blogger whose scenarios of lying focus on other people, my lying is more internal.  I find it impossible to lie to others.  I’m not a good liar and either I say the truth or say I don’t feel like explaining.  It isn’t because I think lying is a sin, I’m just really too lazy to come up with a decent one.  If I do lie, you could probably spot it too easily since I’m not used to doing it.  

Now about internal lies.  After reading 1984, I feel like my life is exactly that way.  No not a dystopia, but a world of false history.  In the book, the main character edits past events to suit present needs.  I feel like I do that all the time.  If I may, I shall mention Abhinav again.  His life is crazy and all, but I exaggerate his life even more.  Since what I say isn’t the truth, I’ll just say it as a lie for the sake of this post.  If repeated enough times, it becomes the norm and the “truth” in the working sense.  People know him by his reputation, not his actual endeavors (even though the things they know are just bloated versions).  

One good example of how I doublethink myself is the story of one of my first long term friends.  I don’t even remember how we met, but I remember the exaggerated story I created.  It was we were enemies until we started throwing pokemon cards at each other in a fight until eventually we became friends afterwards.  Now I don’t remember what caused our friendship, but I definitely know that didn’t happen.  I feel like I have done this a lot to my past.  Why feel? Because the essence of doublethink is you make yourself think the false fact is true.  If I have done this to myself then I wouldn’t even remember, which is scary.  It is only the ones I failed at completely solidifying I can notice.